You Are Who You Eat Lunch With
Connected Communicators know emotions are contagious.
Can you think of a time you found yourself matching the excitement, joy, sadness, irritation, or anxiety of the people around you? There is an actual science behind this contagion of emotions. When we catch someone else’s emotions, we can thank our mirror neurons, (or our empathy neurons, as we like to call them). Educators tend to have an abundance of these neurons at our disposal -we are especially empathetic people! We talk about how this impacts our work with kids in our book, Connecting Through Conversation: A Playbook for Talking with Students. Turns out, it is just as important to be aware of our mirror neurons when we think about the educators we work with!
Jim Rohn said that, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
There is truth to this! Neural synchronization is a fascinating process that causes our brain to sync up with the people around us. The more time we spend with someone, the more this synchronization happens. After a while, the pathways in our brain actually change, causing us to be more like the people we spend time with. You know when you arrive at work, randomly wearing the same color or style of clothing as your work bestie? Or when you find yourself finishing your teaching partner’s sentence? This is all due to the brain science of neural synchronization!
Mirror neurons and neural synchronicity show us that humans are hardwired for connection.
When you think about the various interactions you have throughout the school day, think about how talking with certain individuals makes you feel. For us, there are some educators that consistently energize, excite, and motive us. There are others who seem to spread a sense of negativity and frustration everywhere they go. That's the contagion of emotions at work! We know we can’t control who is on our team, or hand pick all of our colleagues. However, there are a number of things we can control.
There are three concrete steps to make sure you sync up in positive ways.
First, be aware! Think about how different colleagues impact your mood. When you are working with someone who tends to be negative, take some deep breaths and get yourself centered and grounded prior, during, and after interacting with them. Remind yourself that those are their emotions, not yours. When you are conscious about the possibility of picking up negative emotions, it is much easier to leave them with the other person, instead of taking them on yourself.
Second, choose who you sit with in meetings whenever possible. Sit at a table with people who are open to new ideas, will not talk negatively about others, and who you may be able to sink into some creative genius with. Avoid sitting near people who are inclined to mutter under their breath, shut down new ideas, and are generally grumpy about being in the meeting in the first place.
Third, think about who you eat lunch with. There are schools where the staff room is a positive place to be, and you feel rejuvenated after taking a much deserved break in that space. There are other schools where that space is reserved for complaining, negativity, and general unhappiness. Depending on your circumstances, find like-minded colleagues to spend your limited free time with during the school day. These should be folks who are committed to lifting each other, and the profession, up.
Connecting It
It is critical to our professional happiness that we feel connected to the educators that surround us. After all, we are on a common mission! With that said, we encourage you to be careful how you connect. Find the educators who help to make you the best version of yourself, and make a conscious effort to surround yourself with them as often as possible at work.
