Caring Enough to Have the Hard Conversation
There are very few of us that look forward to engaging in a difficult conversation. Maybe you need to share some critical feedback with a teacher after an observation. Perhaps you have to address some unprofessional behavior from one of the educators you support. There might be a colleague that needs to hear a hard truth. None of these conversations sound fun! You might be quite tempted to ignore it and just hope that it resolves itself! We wouldn’t blame you for considering that, but in our experience, these situations rarely sort themselves out on their own. By avoiding the conversation you are doing a huge disservice to the person who needed the feedback, and the students they support. So, if you care about the other educators you work with (and we know you do!) care enough to step into that difficult conversation.
Sharing feedback in a direct and clear manner gives students an opportunity to improve
We don’t expect students to meet expectations that we did not make visible to them. We share the rules, we provide success criteria, we outline the essential learnings, and we provide feedback on how they are doing in relation to the expectations. The educators we support deserve the same clarity. We cannot expect them to meet expectations that are not clear. If you observe a lesson or unprofessional behavior that does not meet expectations it is your obligation to provide that feedback in a direct and clear manner. By not sharing the feedback, you are robbing them of the opportunity to improve! You are also sending the message that it was a solid lesson, or that unprofessional behavior is perfectly acceptable, increasing the probability that you will see more of what you don’t want to see in the future.
If there is an area that needs improvement, it must be addressed as closely to when it was observed as possible for improvement and to build trust.
It would be grossly unfair to know where someone needs to improve and instead of sharing it in the moment, putting it in the end of year evaluation months later, or worse yet, not recommend them for renewal without giving them the information they need to get better. If there is an area that needs improvement, it must be addressed as closely to when it was observed as possible. This will allow the educator to make a change quickly. Additionally, when someone finds out you have been walking around with difficult feedback for weeks or even months without saying anything, it is going to be very difficult for them to trust you in the future.
Established a pattern of providing direct and specific praise
Critical feedback is much more easily received if you have established a pattern of providing direct and specific praise as well. We are not suggesting the old sandwich technique of starting with praise, saying the hard thing, and then softening it with more praise. This generally comes off as insincere, or softens the message to such a degree that the message is lost and does not result in the needed change. Instead, when you see something that is meeting or exceeding expectation, call it out, as close to the moment as possible. Be specific and clear. You will see more of what you want to see, and when you share an area they need to focus on, it will be received in the spirit of improvement that it is intended.
Care enough about student to say the hard thing
We know you care about the educators you work with. When you are struggling with stepping into that challenging conversation, remind yourself that you care about them and their students enough to say the hard thing.
For us, Brene Brown said it best when she shared, “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.” Choose kind. Take a deep breath and step into that conversation because you care enough to offer the gift of feedback.
Check out our book: Connecting Through Conversation: A Playbook for Talking with Students.
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