The Connected Relationship for Learning Formula: Dignity
Listening + Dignity + Trust = Connected Relationships for Learning
We all know strong relationships are critical, and yet there are precious few resources on how to actually build these relationships. In our book, Connecting Through Conversation, A Playbook for Talking with Students, we share that in order to build what we call Connected Relationships for Learning, there are three components that must be firmly in place. You must listen well, treat all with dignity, and have a foundation of trust. We refer to this as the Connected Relationships for Learning Formula. Here, we are going to dive a little deeper into the critical component of Dignity.
When students can be who they are, there is more capacity for learning.
Acknowledge Identity to Affirm Dignity
Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity - no exceptions. In Belonging through a Culture of Dignity Cobb and Krownapples define dignity as,
“The innate equal worth of each human being simply because they are human. Dignity is our common heritage and birthright as human beings.” (p.95)
So, how do we do this? Dignity is demonstrated in how we listen to, treat, and respond to our students and their families. Dignity is affirmed in the effort we make to learn and celebrate students' unique identities, abilities, backgrounds, learning styles, and cultural heritage. As a first step, ensure that you learn the names of your students, find out what they prefer to be called, and pronounce those names correctly. A name is foundational to our identity! When you are meeting with the students' families, make sure that you also note their families’ names and use them as you engage in conversation. We can’t tell you how many times we’ve heard a well-intentioned educator call a parent “Johnny’s mom” during a meeting. Johnny’s mom has a name too - learn it and use it!
Belonging vs. Fitting In
In The Gifts of Imperfections, Brene Brown (2010) helps us see the important distinction between belonging and fitting in.
“Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be to be accepted. Belonging on the other hand, doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.” (p.145)
When students carry the weight of hiding or trying to change parts of their identity in order to fit in, they will not feel safe enough to learn. It is also a tremendous cognitive and emotional load to constantly hide who they really are, leaving them less capacity for new learning.
Our Charge
As Connected Communicators, our charge is to be tireless in affirming each student’s identity and dignity each day. This means we recognize and appreciate each individual for who they are. We learn about and celebrate their individual culture, especially when that culture is not the dominant one. We work to build a space of belonging for all students in our schools. To learn more of these strategies, check out our book - Connecting Through Conversation: A Playbook for Talking with Students.
Curate a space for belonging by appreciating the individual.
Check out our book: Connecting Through Conversation: A Playbook for Talking with Students.
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